Me too.
If you would have told me three months ago that I would be living at home all summer, my dream internship in Chicago would be moved to being online and unpaid, and plans to go abroad with your best friend for the first semester of your senior year of college are more than likely not happening… I would have told you you were crazy. SERIOUSLY!
God was so in these good things. This internship fell into place so perfectly I literally cried out in tears of joy thanking God for relieving that worry. When the internship program I’ve been planning on doing since freshman year added Luxembourg as a destination, it felt like an answered prayer after kicking myself for only going abroad for a summer instead of a semester.
Why would God take these things away? These GOOD things. These opportunities to truly bloom?
My pastor brought this up in a sermon a few weeks ago, and it was all too good. He talked about growing up hating the Game of Life (like the board game), because “you feel like you’re winning and all of sudden everything is lost.”
I too hated the Game of Life as a kid. I hated how quick you could go from winning to losing it all. And recently, in my own game of life, I really felt like I was winning. Like everything was falling into place. And now, it’s all lost.
And that loss hurts. It takes time to grieve. To process. If I told you the past couple of weeks have not included tears and frustration- I would be lying. Everyone is experiencing loss of all different measures right now. But that does not make yours any less significant. I mean that.
But in this loss, there is so much to gain.
I study creativity and innovation. We always talk about pivoting from failure, from loss, from unforeseen obstacles.
So much so that now over time, if I face a bump in the road, I let myself process, and then I immediately ask…
What’s your pivot?
Since finding out the news about my internship, I have taken up another remote (and unpaid) internship for a CEO and company I respect immensely. I have started nannying again to make an income. I have taken a little extra time to focus on my mental health and do things for the joy of it.
Is this my glamorous summer living in downtown Chicago working in a high-rise on Michigan Avenue for an incredible company? Heck no.
Is it actually me doing work online on my back porch? Or watching a newborn that spits up on me a little more often than I hoped? Or spending an hour learning a tiktok dance? Or spending a week working on a green juice recipe that still tastes a whole lot like grass?
Ya. Far from glamorous. Far from what I had planned.
This is my pivot. It’s far from perfect. It’s humbling. It’s ever-changing. I am giving myself grace here. Seriously, that’s important.
Growing in this season looks different. It’s stretching me in all new ways.
My prayer for you is that you are growing, too.
(If you want to talk, I am here. Need help with your pivot? Just need to vent? Email me. Call me. Text me. Seriously. We’ll get through this together!)
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