Lately, I have gotten way too good at convincing myself that I don’t need a savior. That I have got this all on my own. That time spent in the word or praying is good, but working and progressing and doing is better. That earthly work will get me further.
Life is weird right now. Every day is unknown and this whole corona thing gets a little more real and a little more scary with each day. It’s not that I ever knew what tomorrow would bring, but now, more so than ever, I truly have no idea.
Here’s all I know now, and honestly, what I have known, but pushed away all along:
God is in control.
In the past seven days, so many things have been taken away. The remainder of my junior year is now online. My room in Oxford, the creative space I have grown to love and what is featured in the picture above, is now two hours away. A business I just started is now not all that feasible/safe when social-distancing is a thing right now. Client projects have been turned upside down without face-to-face interaction. The majority of my friends are now states away.
And today, I am home, in my childhood bedroom, writing. Like really writing. Like the kind where all these words jumble up in my head, and I feel like I have to write them down as fast as I can before I lose them. It’s been a long time since I felt this way.
It took all that busy stuff, stuff I LOVE but busy stuff nonetheless, being pulled away to be brought back to this clarity. This time, that there now seems to be so much of, has brought me back to the basics.
This stillness has brought me back to what I know.
I woke up this morning after struggling to fall asleep with Psalm 46:10 on my heart.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
As God addresses Israel in this verse, this is not just a call to rest. This is a call to cease aimlessly striving. To be still in the sense of being in awe of the Lord and the work that only He can do. That he will be our strength. That He will do a good work.
I have been aimlessly striving, but COVID-19 has quite literally forced me to stop and realize this is not all in my control. That I can’t do this all on my own.
In this weird and scary season of unknown, I am going back to the basics. Spending time in the word, even though it’s not something that comes naturally to me. Praying continually. Not losing hope.
This time is sacred. Rest and reset. Be still, cease aimlessly striving, and know.
Cling to what is true and find peace; we could all use it right now.