We all have a box. A way we hold ourselves back. A way we shut ourselves down before we even give ourselves the opportunity to try.
My box is a whole of things.
It’s…
Fear of the future. Saying too many yeses.
Being so incredibly sensitive.
Constantly seeking approval.
Always being worried if I am doing enough.
Struggling to stay in my lane and not peak my head out and look at everyone else’s.
Being such a perfectionist.
Holding on to the reigns of my life so tightly.
Worrying and worrying and worrying again.
Struggling (like, really really struggling) to make decisions.
Doubling and tripling back.
Caring so much about my darn GPA.
Showing up for other people’s deadlines long before I show up for my own.
Letting other people’s perspective get to me.
Ruminating. Ugh, the ruminating.
Procrastinating far too often. This is a HUGE yikes in my life. Seriously.
Fearing failure.
Getting stuck in the valleys of my life and not pulling myself out faster.
Setting unrealistically high expectations for myself and being crushed when I don’t meet them.
Expecting perfection from myself right away.
Noticing a theme here? Reading back through these, I definitely did, and it was a wake up call to say the least.
My box is self-doubt. A massive lack of confidence in myself and my abilities. Insecurity.
The walls of this box are thick and strong. I have been trapped in this box for as long as I can remember.
There is something really neat about recognizing this. It means I can be proactive in my growth and take intentional steps at breaking out of this box I have created for myself.
So, what exactly has this looked like for me?
I am learning to love the meantime.
I am learning to stay focused on my own lane.
I am learning to make my own decisions.
I am learning to that just because perspective is given doesn’t mean I have to take it.
I am learning that it is rarely possible to please everyone, and that is ok.
I am learning that my yes’s are valuable, and I need to use them sparingly.
I am learning the power of the word no.
I am learning deciding to do something because I “should” is not a good enough reason.
I am learning that I am valuable enough to believe in.
I am learning all of these things.
In that learning, I am failing, stretching, growing, and overcoming.
I am being intentional about practicing as often as I can.
I have already seen great change in myself, and I look forward to blooming in this even more.
What is your box? How can you get out of your own way?
Side Note: This picture choice was intentional. This picture is of my best friend and I. My best friend also happens to be my mom. When the walls of my box seem to be closing in, when life gets to be just a little to much, when I feel like I just can’t do it anymore, my mom is there for me. She is my rock, and I truly don’t know what I would do without her. Everyone needs someone in their corner cheering them on, and I can always count on her to be in mine and remind me that “this too shall pass.”