caught and caught up.

I feel caught.

Caught between living a life of freedom and doing what I “should.” Caught between passions and where pouring my time will be the most valuable. Caught between fun and work. Caught between feeling inspiration by what is being shared online and frustration with it all sounding a little too similar.

I’m also caught up.

Caught up in what everyone else is accomplishing and where I stand. Caught up in being so focused on perfection that I don’t allow my meantime, a time a beautiful imperfection, to let me grow. Caught up in the internship chase. Caught up in playing the school game. And worst of all, being so caught up in doing it right that I don’t do it at all.

Instead of doing the very thing this blog was inspired by, blooming all the while, through all the unknowns and fears and mundane day-to-days, I've spent my time caught and caught up.

I told myself this blog was no different than anyone else’s. I told myself that this space was just another source of the never-ending noise online. I told myself I could be doing something better, more meaningful, more unique, because the world doesn't need another blog.

Then I got back to school. People remembered and conversations started.

At a tailgate the second weekend of school, two girls from totally different friend groups in my sorority shared how meaningful my blog had been to them and thanked me for sharing my words.

One of my favorite professors and mentors was eager to hear about my progress.

This past Thursday night, an upperclassman that didn’t even know my name, said, “Oh wait, you’re that girl that started that blog. You’re cool; I want to be friends.”

Then, my dad sent me a picture of a painting I made when I was maybe eight or nine. It was a flower with the word bloom underneath. He said, “Blooming has always been your thing.”

So here I am, sitting in my favorite coffee shop after taking time to just stop and think and WOW, the Lord has given me sign after sign that this mission is far from over, and I was too caught and caught up to even notice.

So, humbly, I am back. Ready to rekindle to power of this space, that, in reality, has been here all along. I am hopeful and expectant of how the Lord will show up.

With this return, there have been a couple changes made around here. Blooming tends to do that. This slight rebrand just feels a bit more like me.

Thank you for your patience and grace in my time of being caught and caught up.

Here’s to a fresh start.